Worth a Soul
by cattydeku
Summary: Marinette made one mistake but she's not going to make another. Depression/self-harm/traumatised Marinette. Follow-up to "So Dear", read that one-shot first!


**This is a follow-up to my one-shot** ** _'So Dear'._** **I don't want to leave my dear readers with that smiley at the end so here it is.**

 _ **WARNING: Depression/traumatised/self-harm Marinette is shown in this, but there's no suicide (thank god). I recommend you read my one-shot before reading this one :D enjoy!**_

* * *

The flowers rested dully on the moist grave. The shadows were creeping up from behind the other grave plates, and the wind was calm.

Blue, lifeless eyes stared into the grave in front of them. A teenage girl, dressed in a black hoodie and jeans knelt in front of the grave plate. She had been there for what, an hour?

Her name was Marinette and she wished she wasn't herself. She used to be Ladybug, and she wished that she was nothing- no one special. The reason why Ladybug was gone was because Chat Noir was gone as well.

Her partner was someone special. She couldn't manage all this superhero work without him, and there were no more villains to conquer.

The sun was coming up, and Marinette didn't twitch. Her pigtails swayed with the wind and her chapped lips parted to release another breath. After a few minutes, she put her hand in her pocket, before taking it back out again, but with something inside of her fingers.

She held the object in her hand, balancing it on her palm shakily. Tears began to well up and slip down easily as she stared at the little Chat Noir themed pocket knife.

Would he forgive her if she did this? Would he understand? Did he understand? She didn't understand. She didn't know what to do with all the pain that writhed inside of her.

She was falling apart and only two- no, one thing could tape her back together, permanently. The other solution had flown away from her.

Just like a butterfly.

Just like a cleansed akuma.

Marinette sighed and dumped the knife on the grave, leaving the leaves of the tree above to fall onto it, as well as the other items on different graves. She got up onto her feet and stumbled for a few seconds, before adjustng to the new position she was in. She dusted the dirt off of her knees that were there when she knelt down. Her dirtied hands smeared dirt on her face as she wiped away the tears.

"I miss you, Adrien. Chat Noir," she whispered into the wind as she looked down at the grave, reciting the words for the last time before she left again, but she was sure she would come back later.

"Adrien/Chat Noir,

Loving civillian and superhero of Paris. Protector of all good, he was a courageous person, with and without a mask. Rest in Peace."

He was more than that to her. She loved him. She helped him. He helped her. They balanced each other- yin and yang. What was yang without yin, and what was yin without yang?

They were to make things right; balance everything on a scale. They both lived and everything was well. If they were to balance all, what if one was dead? Would it still be perfect? What if she got a new partner, would it be the same?

Of course not, Adrien was a one of a kind person; handsome, intelligent, kind- a boy you'd barely meet in your life, let alone see.

Marinette walked out of the new graveyard; the one that had been built after the Final Akuma. It was named "Memorial Blanc". The further she got away from the graveyard, the more people she saw. The more people she saw, the more she was reminded of the lives she lost and saved in the akuma attack. The more she was reminded of that..

Adrien would always pop up in her mind, looking at Marinette disapprovedly with that damn polka-dotted knife in his stomach..

Oh, how stupid she was. Ignorant little bug ruined the black cat's life when she lost control. It was all her fault, it was all hers. If only there was a time machine to go back..

No.. Master Fu wouldn't let her have her hands on the Miraculous for that stupid reason.

She reached the warm bakery and didn't respond to her parents who greeted her. The warmth didn't reach her heart though. They frowned deeply and continued working the customers. Marinette kept her hands buried in her deep pockets as she made her way up to her room.

Her room was different now. There were no more pictures of Adrien, no more Adrien collage, no more Adrien nothing. She had abandoned Ultimate Mecha Strike III- she didn't want to play the game that she played with her dead friend.

Her room didn't feel like home. It was cold, a bit frightening. After the incident, everything fell apart.

Marinette sat in her bed, before curling up into a ball and crying herself to sleep.

Adrien was priceless. He was worth everything, even her soul. Now, he was gone.

Forever.

..

Turned out she slept through the entire day until 9pm. Her phone was spammed with messages from Alya. Her neck was sore from the awkward position she had while she slept. Marinette groaned with displeasure and swiped to read Alya's messages.

'girl theres a ladybug and chat noir statue unveiling at the park!'

'heya'

'girl u need to b there'

'helloo'

'mari this is for u and chat noir its a memorial for u 2'

'stop being depressed over adrien hes gone'

'u need to move on and u have 2 show up the statue unveiling'

'cmon please'

Marinette gritted her teeth in anger. How could she say that? She could never move on from her partner, her love. Her life was a waste without him. Even Tikki said so, "one has to balance the other. Ladybug and Chat Noir are Chosen Soulmates." She was never going to love again. She existed to see her soulmate die with the blood on her hands and his head on her lap.

Deciding to do something with the spare fabric she had, she took her seat at her desk. She opened the cupboard and took out the green fabric and smoothed it out with her slim fingers.

 _Green, just like the eyes she'll never see._

Marinette flinched and quickly placed the fabric on the desk. She got her sewing kit out and some black fabric. She picked up the scissors and opened them, then pushed forward to cut,

 _her soulmate's stomach apart. The blood was on her hands, it was everywhere. His face was angry, before shrivelling up, screaming at Ladybug._

She shrieked and dropped the scissors with a loud clang. The bluenette shakily took a few deep breaths and closed her eyes to calm herself,

 _But she found herself squeezing out some tears while her fingers combed through the golden locks_

and opened her eyes again, tears threatening to spill. She picked up the scissors again and examined the fine blades that criss-crossed together and,

 _trailed from her wrist to halfway to the elbow._

It was real this time, and the pain wasn't there to jeer her. The blood trickled down and Marinette covered a scream with her other arm. Salty tears were falling, burning the wound and she hissed in pain. Her twitching hand grabbed the sewing needle and thread and without thinking, plunged it into her arm.

She groaned in agony and quickly bit one of her pillows. A muffled scream came through.

* * *

Sabine and Tom flew the trapdoor open to see their daughter sobbing over her stitched arm. They had woken up to the continuous sounds so they decided to check on their daughter. She was trying to wash the blood away with her water bottle that was now half empty. Her kit and its contents were spilled on the floor, mixed with the fresh blood.

"Marinette! What are you doing?!" They gasped in shock and rushed towards her. Marinette cried out when they came in contact with her, "no, don't touch me, PLEASE.." she hit their helping hands away and the pain returned to her arm, burning her, crying to be let out

 _like the blood in Adrien's stomach was let out_

but the stitches were tight. Sabine grabbed a phone and called Alya.

The ombre haired girl listened to Marinette's parents ramble about her best friend's self harm. Her heart was in her throat. Marinette, her best friend, was hurting and didn't tell her. Marinette, the sweetest girl she'd ever met, was self-harming, and was screaming her lungs out. Marinette, the girl who comforted everyone, wasn't letting anyone touch her. Without another hesitation, she put on jeans, a hoodie and shoes and ran all the way to the bakery.

By the time she got there, she wasn't huffing and puffing yet. She had gotten a lot of exercise from chasing Ladybug and Chat Noir around, and it was paying off.

She rammed the trapdoor open and scrambled over to Marinette's parents who were trying to calm Marinette down. Her hands were shaking, blood stained on them. She was pale, sweaty and shaky.

That night was one of the most frightening they've had.

* * *

The next morning, Alya was hugging Marinette on the bed. Last night, they had finally gotten her to calm down and sleep. They had mopped up the blood and confiscated the sewing equipment, along with anything else sharp.

Alya carefully removed her arms around her best friend and down to the living room to eat with Marinette's parents.

She was shocked to see them watching the news, the news that showed a crowd holding signs that made her stomach drop.

" _LADYBUG DESERVES TO DIE!" "JUSTICE FOR CHAT NOIR!" "BLOOD MUST HAVE BLOOD!"_

A woman, dressed in all blue, green and yellow hovered above the crowd, screaming what the signs said. She had blonde hair, like the sun, green eyes, green as emeralds. Her hair was in a braid and a peacock tail hung from her back side.

The crowd was outside of the bakery now, you could hear them chanting outside. Alya looked out the window to see the swarm of civillians and bit her bottom lip. The peacock lady quietened the crowd, and the silence overcame all sounds for a few minutes.

" _JUSTICE FOR PAON! HER BLOOD HAS BEEN LOST NOW BLOOD MUST BE SPILT!" **the**_ crowd screamed suddenly, as well as the woman's. Her eyes were glowing blue now, and an inhuman scream sounded out. The mob rammed into the bakery, and ran up the stairs, smashing everything in the way.

Alya, Tom and Sabine quickly barricaded the door with everything in the room, and the banging continued from the other side. "Get Marinette to safety, now!" Tom yelled at Alya, who was in shock. She quickly ran to her friend's room and woke her up.

Marinette squinted at Alya before understanding what she blabbered on about. "Grab the blankets, Alya, I'll be on the balcony!" The bluenette ordered. Alya muttered a "yes ma'am" and pulled on the scattered blankets.

* * *

The barricade had been smashed down, and the mob knocked Sabine and Tom out.

Sabine had been helpless, the mob swarming around her, hands needy. Out of nowhere, a lamp impacted her head and sent her unconscious. Tom had put up a fight- throwing off most of the people, until several kitchen utensils were thrown at him. While he was distracted, someone had gagged him, knocking him out with some kind of drug.

The mob reached Marinette's room, only to see the gaping trapdoor open and the wrinkled bed. They all roared in frustration, taking the pink bedroom apart.

Marinette and Alya were at the school, in their French classroom. School was starting soon, but they needed everyone's help.

Mme Bustier walked in, distracted by some files. "Stupid cheap tablets, running out of d-" she looked up and nearly screamed, but was relieved when it was just two of her students.

"Marinette, Alya, what are you doing here so early?" Their teacher confusedly crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes. The two girls had beads of sweat, tired from their run from home to the school.

"There's a mob.. They want.. To kill.. Marinette since she.. Killed Adri- Chat Noir .." Alya huffed out while Marinette stayed silent. She was bent over, her hands on her knees.

Marinette panted heavily while tears formed in her eyes. Her knees buckled and she suddenly fell on the ground and began sobbing. Mme Bustier and Alya extended their arms before retracting them again. "This is all.. My fault.." Marinette clutched her face with her hands.

"No, no, no, Mari.." Alya hushed her best friend, patting her back and placing her other hand on her shoulder. "They don't know the truth. They didn't know what happened, not even the news caught the fight on action. They don't know the truth."

Marinette hesitated. Then she looked up at Alya, her eyes sparkling but not known whether to be from the tears, or the discovery she made. "Alya, the truth," she spoke softly. "The peacock lady had a Miraculous, the peacock Miraculous. Her name is Paon, and, and .." Marinette stopped talking, seeming to be in thought.

"And..?" Mme Bustier and Alya asked together and looked at each other with surprise.

"'Her blood has been spilt', Alya.. Could it be Adrien's mom? And Tikki told me that each Miraculous has a partner.. The Fox is cunning- lies, illusions, the peacock is truthful- honesty and balance.." Marinette tapped her bottom lip and narrowed her eyes. Then looked up again.

"I bet you she has the power to force the truth out of people, what they want. She gathered people who wanted justice for Chat Noir's death and strengthened the hate for me, since I'm the one who killed him." Marinette nodded, "it makes total sense if it's his mother, but how..?"

The two other people in the room were in thought, but surprised by her theory. "If what you're saying is true, then.. We have to break the connection between them. We have to tell them the truth." Mme Bustier suggested. "But how.."

Alya perked up, "I know how!" The two looked at her with curiosity, "we need to broadcast it on the news or, or, shout it at them! Somehow.." Alya bit her lip at the last part.

"Alya, you're a genius," Marinette smiled at her best friend, "let's go to the News station. We'll have to have Nadja say it though, they won't believe our words if we speak."

They got in Mme Bustier's car and drove to the news station.

* * *

"Hey! Hey! Alec, we need your help!" Bustier grabbed Alec's arm, just as he was leaving. "And what's that, Caline?" Alec smiled at the teacher thoughtfully.

"That.." Alya pointed to the mob that had scattered, looking around the town. "They're going to find us!" Alec ushered them in, closing the door.

Thry ran to the filming stage.

"We need you, Nadja- someone to broadcast this-" Marinette handed him the speech that she wrote of what happened, "so the people will stop trying to kill me." Marinette held her arms at the thought 'kill me'. Maybe she wan- no. Adrien would never want her to do that.

Alec looked up and sighed. "I've got to be domewhere but I owe Caline a favour anyway." The three girls looked hopeful. "Okay. Nadja's busy with Manon so I've got to do this myself."

..

"Helllooo, Paris!" Alec wavaed at the camera and glanced at the speech for a split second. "Today, I've got something real important to say so.." The rest wasn't heard by the women who sat in the corner, watching the windows, making sure that everyone was seeing this.

It was working.

The speech had been said and they watched the people drop their signs and nod in understanding. Blue sparkles made the mob normal again and their anger for Ladyb-Marinette had faded.

The three sighed in relief. "Now that's done, I need to go maintain a classroom." Mme Bustier wiped a few sweats away. "Goodbye, girls." She left the friends alone.

"Now that that's done, what're w-you going to do?" Alya asked Marinette. "I'm gonna uhh, stay in my room for the day. I'll be at school tomorrow, don't worry!" Marinette waved her friend goodbye, then walked into the street where people greeted her.

Instead of taking the route home, she had gone to the familiar Chinese massage shop. When she opened the door, a few bells rang and an elderly man called out, "come in."

Marinette took a deep breath and her feet were planted. She had to do this. For Adrien. For herself. For the Paon.

She shuffled inside and Master Fu's facial expression read that he wasn't surprised. "Ladybug, to what do I owe the pleasure?" The man asked, pouring a cup of tea. Wayzz zoomed out of the corner and greeted Marinette. "Hello, Ladybug."

"I request the Ladybug Miraculous for one important task." Marinette declared and Master Fu stopped sipping his tea. "What is this important task?"

"The Paon-the peacock Miraculous has been activated somehow, and a woman has just tried to make a mob of civillians that I swore to protect kill me." Marinette stood her ground, keeping her voice steady and neutral. Wayzz nodded in understanding, "yes, I sensed it as well."

Master Fu looked at his kwami with a surprised look, but Wayzz shrugged nonchalantly. Fu gave a sigh and took the box of Miraculous out.

He opened it, and there they were.

The Bee, the Butterfly, the Fox, the Ladybug,

the Cat.

Master Fu picked up the Ladybug earrings and placed them in a separate box, then handed it to Marinette. "Make sure you get this done. There are to be no deaths, then return the box with the earrings to me again."

Marinette could cry of happiness and sadness at the same time, but she had to keep this formal. She opened the box, like she did two years ago. The familiar red ball of light faded away to reveal the kwami that she had missed so much..

"TIKKI!" Marinette pulled the Ladybug kwami in for a huge hug. Tikki let out a cry of happiness as she nuzzled her Chosen. "Marinette.." They pulled apart, and a confident smile was on Marinette's face.

"Tikki, this is going to be the last.."

"So let's make it the best!"

"Tikki, spots ON!"


End file.
